Nuetrality and Children

When counseling children, a therapist needs to keep many things in mind.  First it is very important to respect boundaries.  Of course it is known that therapists can not ethically or legally enter into any type of sexual relationship with a child they are counseling.  To do this would completely undermine the therapy as well as create an exploitative relationship with the child.  This would hurt the child in many ways.  Children abused by their therapist would have extreme trust issues and problems with their self-esteem, possibly for the rest of their lives.  Below is a story that shows exactly how much trouble you can get into crossing those lines with a client who is a minor:

Family Therapist Indicted on Sex Abuse Charges


That being said, many well meaning therapist have to use their best judgement to keep appropriate boundaries respected. 

Counseling children is an endeavor in and of itself, but there are some instances that challenge even the best therapist:

Preschool children may not understand boundaries and could want to do things like:

• hug the therapist
• sit on the therapist's lap
• take off their shoes, or lift their shirt or skirt
• invite the therapist into their home
• ask the therapist to attend a school function (ie. Christmas concert)

When instances like this come up the therapist must refrain from blurring the boundaries on their most influential clients.  It may be a good idea for a therapist to work with the child to discuss acceptable boundaries. 

Even older children can pose boundary challenges for a therapist by asking personal questions about their marital status, or if they have children.  These, most times, just show curiosity and a wanting to connect with the therapist.  Again, this could be an opportunity for the therapist to explore why the child would want to know these answers, without actually answering the questions. 

A therapist to a child or adolescent needs to be cognizant of the perception the child has with the therapist. By exploring the child's perception, a therapist may be able to better recognize or understand the conflict within the child.

The best way to help a child of any age is for the therapist to remain neutral.  That doesn't mean that the therapist doesn't care about the child; but more that the therapist neither accepts or condemns the child, but remains interested.  They need to use the information and find out what is motivating the child's behavior.  A good therapist will invite discussion as opposed to expressing themselves through action. 

Sources:
Decoding the Ethics Code 3rd Edition Celia B. Fisher (2013)

Ascherman MD., L.I., & Rubin MD., S. (2008) Current Ethical Issues in Child and Adolescent Psychology. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America. (2008) Vol. 17, 21-35. retrieved online at http://web.up.ac.za/sitefiles/file/43/2561/childpsychotherapyethics.pdf

Taliaferra, Lanning. Broxville-Eastchester Patch. Aug 13, 2013 Family Therapist Indicted on Sex Abuse Charges. retrieved online at http://bronxville.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/family-therapist-indicted-on-sex-abuse-charges